How to handle online dating
Don’t blame yourself for what happened, because what’s not meant to be won’t be. You’re going to spend a lot of time lying in bed with your mind clawing relentless at you about the rejection.
Instead, take it as an opportunity for you to grow stronger. You need to occupy yourself at home when you’re all by yourself. Once enough time has passed, you’ll come to realize that certain things just aren’t within your control.
When we type in our logins and go surfing for love, out come all our animalistic instincts: We refuse to give a second look to those who don't meet our physical requirements, rudely ignore those we don't find worthy and generally let our ids run wild. " we think gleefully, our brains reverting to caveman-like activity. In short: Online dating is not for the easily offended.
So if you're offering your heart up to the WWW gods, don't be too put off by the following social un-graces.
The problem is: authority figures not being taught how to non-violently assess and handle non-compliance; a system set up to capitalize on the imprisonment, endangerment, and death/murder of people of color; people of color being labelled “disrespectful” and “thuggish” for challenging authority, but when non-POC do it, they’re exercising their rights; black/brownness being read as “immediate threat” and “deserving of punishmemt: regardless of behavior; militarized security gauards in schools; non-POC not batting an eye at a child being thrown to the ground, assaulted, pushed up against walls, punched until bloody, kicked in the ribs, shaken by the neck, and — I hate to be the one to tell you this, K — it’s because that child is not White. We’ve heard it all before: “Isn’t #Black Lives Matter divisive? Bob Marley said it best: let’s get together and feel alright. ” This would be where you’d drop your links and titles.
Not only would there be a mob at the ready if an officer treated a white child like that, that mob wouldn’t even be necessary because the likelihood of an officer treating a white child like that is practically negligible. Copy/paste evert bell hooks, Michelle Alexander, Melissa Harris Perry quote known to mankind.
This feels passive aggressive to me: they see the kind of person I am/am not trying to engage with, yet they are willing to ignore my expressed wishes to fulfill their own selfish desires, which is an indirect kind of hostility and violence. But, I mean, what could I possibly know about elephants? Sometimes it’s more tiring to hold your frustration in than it is to expend energy expressing said frustration.
So, when racism invades your personal space, a space you’ve spent time cultivating in such a way as to gravitate love and cute faces your way, you are allowed to rage against the machine. Let’s imagine you get a message that goes a little something like this: The problem is not with the police.
no matter how much your self-esteem is damaged or the extent of your heartbreaks. Don’t spend your days wondering what could have been or what you did wrong, and just accept it for what it is. Don’t take it personally This is probably the hardest tip to follow, but it’ll come in time.Save your sobbing for the disappointment of bad first dates, seemingly perfect mates who can't commit and the Ones Who Get Away. The Offense: After reading Suitor X's profile, you are convinced you two are going to fall in love and wander through tulip fields while Louis Armstrong songs waft from some invisible speaker.You send off a digital epistle, a perfectly worded blend of snark and flirtatiousness ("Oh, my God, I like 'Witch House' too.Getting a new video game works, or even learning an instrument. Admit that in certain situations, you have to let nature take its course and you can’t force someone to accept you. Keep your chin up and move forward This is the part where you can finally let go of your internal suffering.Keep your head high and stride forward with nothing but pride, because you finally got over your rejection and it’s time for you to move on.
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You’ve learned valuable lessons that have made you become a better person, and you can now move on and focus your energy on tackling something or someone else.