Verbal abuse in dating relationships
Unfortunately, some people, while fulfilling these nurturing, positive needs of their partners at least some of the time and at least early in their relationship's development, also behave abusively, causing their partners (and often others as well) substantial emotional and/or physical pain and injury.In extreme cases, abusive behavior ends in the death of one or both partners, and, sometimes, other people as well. Frequently, however, abuse continues or worsens once a relationship is over.The term "intimate relationships" is used here to be maximally inclusive of any romantic and/or sexual relationship between two non-biologically-related people, including dating or courtship relationships, relationships in which the romantic partners live together in the same household (cohabiting), relationships in which two people have children in common but are no longer formally romantically or sexually involved with one another, and marital relationships.Ideally such relationships are loving and supportive, protective of and safe for each member of the couple.The abuser fosters an atmosphere of fear, intimidation, instability, and unpredictability.He steadily pushes you to the edge with his deception, sarcasm, and battering until you erupt in anger and then you become the “bad guy” giving him the ammunition he needs to justify his hurtful actions.Or you mistrust your instincts that your boyfriend or husband is lying to you, demeaning and controlling you.
Instinctively, I want to protect them from further harm and tell them to run.
Covert abuse is disguised by actions that appear normal, but it is clearly insidious and underhanded.
The abuser methodically chips away at your confidence, perception, and self-worth with his subtle hints, unnecessary lying, blaming, accusing, and denial.
For those who have been there, you understand; moving from victim to survivor you found yourself wondering, I can deeply empathize with a victim of abuse in many ways.
As a therapist, it's very painful to watch, to experience, to sit across from and to absorb.